You Won’t Read This Anywhere Else But Here: The Proclamation

As far as we know, no one else has ever categorized this kind of lead.And yet, not only could you find it extremely powerful in the right instance, but there are many examples of the Proclamation Lead both in advertising and in persuasive editorial literature. In fact, they are a very common way to begin a rhetorical speech.When we first discussed the idea of making Proclamation Leads their own special category, we had different ideas about what to call them. “Emotionally-compelling sentences” was the term we originally discussed. But, then we debated whether all leads are emotionally compelling and whether that might confuse readers.We also tossed around the terms “declarations” and “pronouncements.” We finally settled on “proclamations” because we felt the word connoted the energy inherent in these emotionally-compelling statements.Whatever you call them, they are a type of lead distinct from the other five covered in this book. They are first and foremost assertions — sometimes they are statements of fact, other times they are statements of opinion, and still other times they are statements about what might be true now or in the future.But in all cases, they startle, intrigue, and tempt.

This is where they get their great power.So, if you are looking for a definition for a Proclamation Lead, here is one that will do:A well-constructed Proclamation Lead begins with an emotionally-compelling statement, usually in the form of the headline. And then, in the copy that follows, the reader is given information that demonstrates the validity of the implicit promise made.

One of the things we’ve been talking about in this book is the concept of directness and indirectness. We have made the point that some lead types — Offer Leads, Promise Leads, and Invitation-type — are direct in the sense that the reader is very much aware he is reading sales copy. Indirect leads — stories and secrets — distract the reader from that recognition. Done well, the reader temporarily forgets he is reading an advertisement and gives the same attention and suspension of disbelief that he would give to a novel or movie.The Proclamation Lead, though very simple, is primarily indirect. It is indirect because it distracts the reader from the sale by forcing him to pay attention to the point suggested by the proclamation, without revealing exactly how it will lead to the essential claims of the actual sale.

Good Proclamation Leads read like newspaper stories — tabloid newspapers sometimes, but newspaper stories nonetheless. The target reader’s rational brain might realize he is reading a sales pitch, but his emotional brain is so taken by the secret and the story that he suspends disbelief and reads on with eager anticipation.And that, as you already know, is the secret of effective indirect leads. They “borrow” the emotional framework of other communication forms — stories and secrets to name two — and use that to “sell” the reader emotionally before the sales pitch becomes obvious and direct.Because Proclamation Leads are primarily indirect, you’ll find they share a lot of similarities with good secret-driven, story, and other indirect leads. Here are some ways in which they’re similar: Because it’s more indirect, the Proclamation Lead gets a lot of its strength from taking the reader by complete surprise. It must be relevant, but it has to be something almost pushing the envelope of the incredible. The reason for this is that ordinary statements are too easy to pass over. To get the reader to pay attention to your Proclamation Lead, you must hook him with the remarkable.

Like the Secret Lead, the skillful copywriter will not reveal the product’s USP until he has finished proving the proclamation. The proclamation itself is very strong and irresistible. The goal is raising curiosity in an intense and relevant way. What he wants first is proof that justifies his curiosity, and only then will he search for a link to the promises also made or implied in the lead.Like the Story Lead, the Proclamation Lead must be concise and engaging. This is why you’ll often find Proclamation Leads “proven” using anecdotes or detailed stories — because these can help you vividly show the proclamation describes something real in just a few words.Like all good leads, the more specific you can be with your proclamation usually the better. There’s no better shortcut to real credibility than specific detail. And likewise, as with all the leads in this book, the Proclamation Lead must lead ultimately to some kind of big claim or promise that’s relevant to the reader.Let’s take a look at the lead in one of the most successful sales letters ever written so you can see how these rules apply. The following example is “report-a-log” promotion that sold a health product ...

Useful, arresting, and on-point: What you see is the cover to a “report-a-log,” a sales piece in the form of a paperback book. The first phrase — Read This Or Die — is obviously a title. But, it is not like many titles the reader might have read before. We can think of only one: Abbie Hoffman’s 1970 bestselling counter-culture manifesto, Steal This Book.This statement is meant to arrest the reader’s attention. It certainly does that. Imagine seeing it on a bookstand. Then, imagine reading the subhead and learning that you have a 95% chance of dying from a curable disease.Do you think you would be startled? Do you think you would be incredulous? Of course you would. And, the copywriter who wrote this headline was very much aware of that.

But, the job of a good Proclamation Lead is not just to startle, but also to excite and to tempt. And this headline accomplishes both those important goals by a few simple words: “for which there is already a known cure somewhere on the planet.” This gets the reader thinking, “Gee, if this statement (about having a 95% chance of dying from a curable disease) is really true, I better find out more about this.”The target reader (someone who buys information about health) is compelled to read on. He is reading for a specific purpose — to find out if the claims made on the cover are valid. And, if they are, to discover something about the “known cures.”Here is the next page of copy:

An Announcement from Mountain Home Publishing, Publisher of Alternatives

After 6,000 years of recorded human history, we are finally able to issue this statement:The worldwide medical community has found solutions for all of the primary diseases and disorders of our time.Until now, the healing arts have always lagged behind the onslaught of plagues and chronic illness. But as of today, at the start of the 7th millennium, we at last have remedies, successful treatments, or outright cures for every one of the leading maladies of our modern world.

What’s interesting here is that the copy continues with another proclamation: That after 6,000 years, the medical community has remedies for every known disease. This is effective because it repeats the emotional work that was done on the cover. The text, the reader realizes, is not backing away from the claim made on the cover. If anything, they are repeating it more strongly.Let’s read on:This does not mean, of course, that every known disease will quickly vanish from the face of the earth. But, it does mean that some segment of the medical community in some nation now has an answer — or the answer — to virtually every common health problem.

Actually, this claim could have been made 15 years ago. But, it would have required stretching the definition of “the medical community” to include a lot of practitioners of traditional folk medicine. Today, however, research laboratories have put many thousands of folk remedies under their microscopes, and hundreds of long-treasured ethnic remedies have been refined, polished up, and upgraded from “ancient lore” to “scientific fact.”Do you see what the copywriter is doing here? He’s dealing with possible objections the target reader might have (“Is this based on science?”) while sticking strongly to the startling claim made on the front page. He knows that the success of this lead will depend on the reader feeling like he is learning something useful and new to him. It gets him excited. He wants it to be true!

Let’s read on:The
Journal of Alternatives
exists to bring together all these newly-discovered treatment modalities and deliver them to you — in formats that enable you (or your patients) to use them very easily.We are a network of 150,000 rugged individualists, a highly educated and sophisticated society of health experts and perpetual students. About one-fourth of us are doctors and other health professionals.Now the reader is introduced to the product — the Journal of Alternatives, which he finds has 150,000 members. This extra bit of detail makes him feel more comfortable.Let’s continue reading.The purpose of this bulletin is to cordially invite you to become one of us. Please see our invitation on the last page.

Now, this is interesting. The copywriter is extending an invitation to the reader. The invitation is a direct technique. The reader knows now that he is being sold something, but the invitation format makes it feel personal and exclusive.This is, as you have already learned, a very common practice in writing leads. You might begin strongly with one type of lead (in this case, a proclamation) but once the emotional hook is set in, you can use more direct leads to move your reader along.Increasing detail: Jim Rutz, the copywriter who wrote this masterpiece, hints that the reader will learn more about saving himself from dying right from the beginning. But, as he continues through the copy, he provides increasing details about the nature of the remarkable, scientifically-proven cures.As we’ve said, Proclamation Leads typically have an implicit promise. “Read This Or Die!” — an imperative —

mplies that the reader will be able to avoid some terrible, life-threatening calamity if he reads on.Proclamation Leads are used most often for selling consumer-based products, usually to prospects that aren’t aware of the product. But, that’s not always the case.Let’s take a look at another very successful Proclamation Lead taken from the Business-to-Business niche where the prospects — doctors in this case — are very aware of the product:

The copy that jumps out at you — “Warning: Your 1995 PDR is Obsolete” — is a declarative statement.You may not know what a PDR is, but the prospects who received this promotion did. The PDR is the Physicians’ Desk Reference. It is one of the first books interns buy and is a consistent part of all physicians’ libraries.If you were a health professional, you would be very concerned to hear the book you’ve been using to make diagnoses is obsolete. It would arrest your attention. It would cause you to worry. And, it would cause you to think that maybe you should replace the one you have with the newer version. The newer, updated PDR is the promise.

Can you see how much work has been done so far? In about 50 words of envelope copy, Master Copywriter Bob Bly grabbed attention, scared the prospect, and then gave him a solution for the problem he may not have known he had!That’s the efficiency of a Proclamation Lead.Later in this letter, Bly did something so clever we had to show it to you. Take a look at this sticker that he included:

NOTICE:
Please place this sticker on your old PDR
to alert readers that it is out-of-date and should not be used for prescribing information or serious research.

WARNING!
This edition of the PDR is out-of-date.
Do not use this book for prescribing
Information!

Talk about ratcheting up the core emotion!In this clever bit of copy, Bly has transformed “outdated” into something that seems downright dangerous. This is the kind of cleverness that can arise when you have figured out a strong Proclamation Lead.In selling political, environmental, health, and financial ideas, Master Copywriters often turn to a special form of a proclamation — the prediction — to achieve the desired emotional effects.Here’s one that ran in the late summer of 1999. The product was a monthly subscription newsletter from the famous Dr. Robert Atkins.

This title copy — “Why Most 20th Century Medicine Will Soon Become Extinct” — is certainly arresting. The reader is surprised by it. How could an entire century of medical knowledge suddenly become extinct?

The reader wants to know the answer. He reads the subhead and finds out that a “maverick doctor is reporting amazing success treating cancer, arthritis, heart disease, and other ‘untreatable’ diseases.”And, the specificity of “maverick” and the diseases mentioned gives the lead just enough detail to make the reader believe that the book might contain some very interesting and useful information.That same subhead is also an implied promise: That the reader will discover new, presumably 21st century remedies that might make him healthier and help him avoid deadly diseases.

Beneath the subhead, there are bullets that indicate particular benefits the reader will derive from opening the book and reading through it.Let’s look at another example of a Proclamation Lead that also hinges on a prediction.This one appeared in the summer of 2006, when many people worried whether real estate prices, stocks, and the world economy had hit a peak.One European economist, Dr. Kurt Richebacher, offered sophisticated research that proved this was the case.But, his argument was complex and the copywriter knew he had to find a way to simplify it. The lead you see here was his solution.It begins with a super head in a flag: “Countdown to Crisis!

That sets the tone and piques the reader’s interest. Then, the main headline predicts “Three Shocking Events will wipe out millions of American investors.” And, it will happen by a specific date: December 31, 2006.

Linking a predicted event to a specific date is a proven technique for increasing credibility. The reader wonders, “What three events could have such a great impact by the end of the year?” In asking that question, the reader has already half-accepted the veracity of the prediction. He is on a hunt now to find out what these events could be and how the writer knows they will take place by December 31st.The copy that follows the headline lets the reader know that this prediction is coming from someone credible: “one of the world’s most famous market analysts.” And, a moment later, he discovers that this same authority has just made two recommendations that will protect him from this predicted set of disasters.

As we said about Proclamation Leads in general, in a prediction-based lead, once an emotionally-compelling statement (in the form of a prediction) has hooked the reader, the copy can then start using some of the techniques that work in other types of leads.For instance, in this example, you can also see the pull of a secret (actually five secrets: three events and two recommendations) and a large promise. The pull being that these recommendations will protect the reader.A story element then follows: “One of the smartest and richest investors I know says he will not buy any stocks or gold or bonds this year.” The reader is very drawn in at this point. He feels compelled to continue reading until he’s found out just what these events are and what sort of unusual investments will save him.Here’s another Proclamation Lead, also in the form of a prediction ...

In the early 1990s, the U.S. had just emerged from a banking crisis. We had just fought a costly war. And, our government had launched into a spending spree. People were worried and this promotion — in the form of a small “bookalog” — capitalized on that fear.

As you can see, it begins with a single, massive prediction: That there was going to be a depression. And, that depression was caused by debt, something people were talking about then (just as they are now).The cover copy is not precisely a declarative statement, but it is close enough. It asserts a prediction, identifies a problem, and then offers the solution to that problem.Again, this is a very efficient way to stir up emotions: in this case, fear and hope.Notice how it was done: through a metaphor. The copywriter, Lee Euler, decided to compare a stock market crash (which might have seemed a bit abstract) to something that they could visualize more easily: a plague.

The Table of Contents deepened the boldness of the prediction, with chapter teasers that fleshed out the seriousness of the threats and identified solutions.This promotion mailed over seven million times and brought in over 170,000 orders. And, the bookalog format became a much-copied industry standard.More recently, another Master Copywriter, Mike Palmer (with whom Michael Masterson has also written a book about copywriting), wrote a similar promotion using another big prediction: the end of America.So far, this promotion has already brought in 200,000 subscribers and may well bring in 300,000 more before it loses steam. If so, it will be the single most successful promotion selling an investment newsletter and perhaps the second most successful promotion in investment publishing history, after The Wall Street Journal’s famous “tale of two young men” Story Lead.Okay, you’ve had a chance to study Proclamation Leads that use both strong declarative statements and predictions. And, we’ve talked about the other elements of successful Proclamation Leads. Now, let’s review some “rules” ...Rule # 1: Make the Proclamation Bold, Not Reasonable

To be effective, Proclamation Leads must be big and bold. They must not only grab attention, but also stir up thoughts and excite emotions. Take a look at all the examples in this chapter. One thing they all have in common: They are all big and bold and most of them are contrary to the point of being startling.You won’t break any marketing records by writing sensible Proclamation Leads. Being sensible is not your job. Not, at least, in the lead.Rule # 2: Make a PromiseTo be effective, all leads must make or at least imply a promise. And, the Proclamation Lead is no exception, even though its’ approach is that much more indirect. In the Read This Or Die promo, the promise is that the reader could find a cure inside for a disease that conventional medicine has yet to overcome. The reader himself immediately inverts the message to be, “If I read this, I won’t die.

This is typical for most Proclamation Leads to only hint at solutions. If the promise isn’t implicit in the headline, you’ll find it somewhere in the subhead. Even the rest of the lead will spend the bulk of the time expanding on the proclamation first and only hinting at the solution.Remember, however, that you’ll eventually have to make the promise of the sales pitch much more concrete. This begins when the reader is emotionally committed to reading the copy and intensifies as you work your way through the proof. You’ll want to repeat the promise in different ways and make it more concrete as you move along, giving the reader a chance to imagine enjoying the benefit.

Rule # 3: The Subject Must Be RelevantEven though Proclamation Leads gain a lot of impact by saying something unexpected, they still must be relevant in the sense that they must address something the prospect cares about. They also must be relevant in the sense that the promise must be something the prospect desires.Rule # 4: Return to the Proclamation at the CloseBe sure to go back and underscore the main theme of the proclamation in any sales premiums you offer and in the wording of the guarantee. You can even connect the guarantee to the proclamation: “If you’re not happy with the product or what I’m telling you simply doesn’t play out the way I’ve described, you can send in for a full refund ... ”One Last Secret Proclamation Leads, more than any other lead, depend on efficiency for their success. Usually all the power is contained in a single declarative sentence. Since it is just one sentence, you might think that Proclamation Leads would be easy to write. In fact, they can’t really be written at all. They have to be found.Great Proclamation Leads almost always come from research. The cures discussed in Read This Or Die or the Three Shocking Events were not conjured up out of thin air. They came after weeks of research — poring over reams of documents and medical reports. There were many impressive studies cited in the promos, several of which contributed to the headline and lead ideas. Even though it’s the bold headline that strikes the reader first, you can tell that it wouldn’t have been possible without the research that preceded it.

Likewise with the example of The Plague of the Black Debt. At the time it was written, the growing U.S. national debt was already a major concern. But, simply saying that wasn’t enough. So, Lee Euler dug deep into his research until he found the proof that substantiated the proclamation. In his case, it was a series of three charts that showed mounting debt could lead to a financial breakdown.And that was how he began the lead copy that followed the headline, with an opening chapter to his promotional bookalog that he titled “Three Little Charts and the Truth.” The rest of the lead went on to show how dangerous this debt could be, before hinting that there were ways for investors to protect themselves.

You’ll see this over and over again with this kind of lead especially. The trick is to stay alert for “amazing” facts as you are doing your reading. When you find something that strikes you as remarkable, write it down, and go back to it later. It might just be the fact you need to create a great Proclamation Lead.